ZEB WALLACE
My Journey
Battling an Eating Disorder
1. An overview...2/1/2022 I know this is hard for a lot of people to understand, and for those that know me, it may come as a shock, but for many years, I have struggled with an eating disorder. I denied for so long that I had a problem, but about two years ago, things began to get worse. I began to see the physical impact on my health and finally, with the encouragement of some close friends here in Minot, I made a doctor’s appointment. Eventually, I was diagnosed with anorexia and would soon begin seeing an incredible therapist. Everyone seemed to think this was more serious than I did, but recognizing I was living in a nightmare that just would not end, I knew something had to change, or my life would be cut short. So, last summer, I checked in to an in-patient treatment center at Sanford Hospital in Fargo, ND, and I was there for two months. I met some incredible people while I was there, both fellow patients and staff, but it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I am now in recovery but it is still something that I struggle with every day; some days are harder than others.
Many of you may be thinking, ‘I’ve seen you eat, though.’ But eating disorders come in all different forms. You can’t always tell someone has an eating disorder by looking at them, but inside, there could be such turmoil going on in their mind. In my case, I would exercise in excess and still limit the amount I ate. It was all I could think about…completely controlling my life. Eating disorders are among the most fatal mental illnesses and are severely underdiagnosed for men. As a man, the stigma of admitting my disorder was extremely hard. I was embarrassed and ashamed; after all, only teenage girls have eating disorders right?! But eating disorders affect both males and females of all ages. In fact, up to 15% of eating disorders occur in males…and that number is likely much higher. I am at the very beginning of this recovery journey, but I am so grateful to God for getting me to where I am now. I do have a wonderful team helping me, and words cannot express how truly grateful I am for those of you who have been with me through all of this. Those who never turned your back on me and supported me during some very hard times, I cannot tell you how much that has meant to me. I love you all, dearly! Speaking out and making this public is extremely hard. But for so long I kept this to myself and just tried to deal with it on my own. I believe, however, that this is something that we should be talking about more. We need to end the stigma surrounding eating disorders in males. So, if speaking out can help at least one other person to gain the courage to get help, then it will be worth it. In the following entries, I explain a little bit more of how I got here. It's a long story but hopefully I can fill in the gaps for you and help you to understand what this has been like. Thank you for reading!
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Leave a Reply.Zeb WallaceI have been battling an eating disorder for many years. I am now in recovery but wanted to share my story so those close to me may have a better understanding, and to help those who may also struggle. |
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