5. Toll on my health...

The summer of 2020, I really began to worry that something was wrong. I would experience dizzy spells and light-headedness multiple times a day. I would have chest pains and shortness of breath. I had trouble concentrating and remembering things. There were several days that I would drive out to one of my favorite hiking spots only to have to turn around and come home once I got there because I was too weak to get out of the car. I would lead singing at my church and have to lean on the pew because I would feel dizzy while in front of the congregation. Close friends were sure that it was the eating disorder but I still had my doubts.  I just knew something else must be happening with me.

That July I went out to take a jog down a dirt road near my home.  I had done this before without any issue, but this time was different.  I had barely gone a quarter of a mile when I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  I thought, ‘how can I be this out of shape?’ So, I kept pushing. I made it two miles and had to stop. My chest was pounding, my pulse was erratic, and I was lightheaded. The problem now was that I was two miles from home. My friends who lived near me were in Bismarck, two hours away.  I didn’t want to have to call anyone else, so I slowly made my way home…almost crawling at times. The whole thing was extremely scary! 

The next week I went to the doctor. There was no mention of my low weight or the amount I exercise…other than to say that they wish they had that much energy. In fact, all the times I have been to see a doctor, no one has really ever said anything about me being underweight. Anyway, I had some test done and the next day, they called to tell me that my white blood cell count was very low. I had to go back in and get more scans and tests done. I was also referred to a hematologist. The doctor told me that when they see blood levels that low, that can mean cancer. I had more bloodwork done and was scheduled for a bone marrow biopsy.  I went back the next week to find out that my white blood cell count had come up just a little, but still low.  However, that meant that it was probably not cancer…so the biopsy was cancelled. 

After talking to the hematologist and telling him about my eating and exercise habits, he said that this was textbook anorexia.  The blood work just confirmed it and that would explain all of the symptoms I had been experiencing.  That was very hard to actually hear from a doctor.   ​